Something lost...

Do you have feeling sometimes there is something missing in your life? Something you can't even name? I have that feeling for long time now. After years of financial struggling life finally turned somewhat OK, but I don't really feel much better. I bought a car, I have steady job, which is luxury in my country, new mountain bike, good computer, full flat of electronics like cell phones, TVs, DVDs,... I mean all that expensive crap I dreamed of when I didn't have money. But whatever I do something is still missing. And that hole is starting to ache.
Sometimes when I'm not working or playing on my instrument, I think, flipping the pages of my memories trying to find out what is missing. Beside financial problems I can't say that I had troubled life except by being surrounded by the kids with lot more money but and I wasn't very big or strong so at beginning I haven't been a hunk. But I can't complaint also, because I have had my share of adventures somewhat later, so I even surpassed them. But all that seems somewhat empty and pointless. I feel almost saturated with emptiness.
I have thought it over and over again ad the only thing that filled that emptiness for a brief moment, was memory of one specific person. No relationship has ever made such impact as she did. But I'm still not sure. We broke up, long time ago. She have her life, I have my own... But I admit I miss her... no one after her have managed to fill me, to make me feel whole...